Anxiety Therapy Los Angeles: What is Emotional Intimacy?
Throughout your life, there’s been a constant, nagging feeling of emptiness. No matter how many relationships you've had, something has always felt missing. You’ve often looked to those around you, especially your parents, to fill that void, to provide you with the emotional intimacy and connection you long for. But as an adult, the hope remains — that one day, you’ll receive the emotional closeness you’ve craved from your parents. You may believe that if only you could understand where this emptiness comes from, you could begin to heal and fill that space with genuine connections. But where do you start?
Anxiety Therapy Los Angeles
It starts with understanding how your relationship with your parents — or lack thereof — shaped your ability to experience and give emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is often first learned through our parents or primary caregivers, but it’s not always taught in ways that serve us as we grow. In fact, many of us in the BIPOC and Queer communities have been taught to suppress or minimize our emotional needs, both within our families and larger societal systems. As a Latinx therapist who specializes in anxiety therapy Los Angeles, I work with many clients who have experienced similar struggles, and I want to help you uncover the roots of this pain and show you how to begin the healing journey.
The Role of Parents in Shaping Emotional Intimacy
Lindsay Gibson, in her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, outlines the profound impact emotionally immature parents can have on their children. This emotional immaturity often looks like avoiding emotions, being dismissive, or even using love and affection as a form of control. If your parent(s) struggled with emotional intimacy or never provided a safe space for vulnerability, you may have learned to distrust your own emotional experiences or avoid emotional closeness altogether.
This pattern doesn’t only affect childhood; it reverberates throughout adulthood, especially in relationships with friends, romantic partners, and even within our own families. But when we start to look at the larger picture — particularly for BIPOC communities and Queer folx — we can see that these struggles aren’t isolated incidents. They're woven into the fabric of intergenerational trauma, cultural expectations, and the social conditioning that teaches us to suppress our emotions in the name of survival.
Intergenerational Trauma and Emotional Intimacy
When we talk about emotional intimacy, we cannot ignore the reality of intergenerational trauma. Trauma is passed down through families and communities, and its effects are often felt long after the original events have taken place. For many in the Latinx community, the experience of migration, displacement, and systemic oppression can create deep emotional wounds that are carried across generations. These wounds may manifest as emotional detachment, anxiety, and difficulty forming close connections.
Intergenerational trauma can shape the way we interact with others and how we perceive emotional intimacy. In families where emotional needs were unmet, children often internalize the belief that their emotions are not valid or worthy of attention. This internalized belief can carry into adulthood, leading to the same emotional distance and anxiety that was present in childhood.
Breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma requires a willingness to examine the past and the courage to make different choices moving forward. It requires learning how to honor your own emotional needs, set healthy boundaries, and trust that emotional intimacy is not only possible but essential for healing.
Cultural Conditioning and Emotional Intimacy
For many Latinx individuals, emotional intimacy can be a complex and multifaceted issue. In families where survival is prioritized, emotional vulnerability often takes a backseat. Many first-generation adults, especially those in immigrant families, are taught to be hyper-independent, to push through difficulties without asking for help. Emotions are often seen as a luxury or weakness, making it difficult for individuals to connect with themselves, let alone others. In Latinx communities, the focus on providing for the family can sometimes lead to emotional neglect, creating an environment where emotional intimacy becomes a foreign concept.
This emotional detachment often manifests as hyper-independence — the belief that you must handle everything on your own because others cannot be trusted to meet your emotional needs. In adulthood, this can look like avoiding emotional vulnerability with partners, fearing judgment or rejection if you were to share your true feelings. And yet, this very need for emotional intimacy persists, creating a painful tension that many in the Latinx community carry with them throughout their lives.
As a therapist working in anxiety therapy Los Angeles, I witness the impact of this cultural conditioning regularly. Many of my clients are BIPOC and Queer folx, navigating the intersection of cultural expectations, trauma, and the desire for emotional connection. The struggle to break free from these patterns, and the longing to heal intergenerational wounds, can be a profound and empowering journey. This journey is about learning to give yourself permission to feel, to trust that your emotions matter, and to find the courage to create deeper connections with those around you.
Anxiety and Emotional Detachment: A Vicious Cycle
In many cases, emotional intimacy struggles are deeply intertwined with anxiety. Anxiety often manifests when we are unable to manage overwhelming emotions or when we fear that our emotional needs will be dismissed or misunderstood. For those who have experienced emotional neglect or detachment in childhood, anxiety can become a coping mechanism to manage the uncertainty of emotional connections.
As you attempt to connect with others, whether through friendships, romantic relationships, or family dynamics, you may feel as though you’re always pushing against an invisible wall — a wall built from fear, from past experiences where your emotional needs were either ignored or dismissed. You may feel as though no matter how hard you try, the emotional bond with your parent(s) or others will never be fully realized.
The cycle of anxiety can perpetuate itself, especially when it’s coupled with emotional detachment. When we’re anxious, we tend to withdraw, pushing others away to protect ourselves from the perceived threat of rejection or judgment. But this withdrawal only deepens the feelings of loneliness and isolation, reinforcing the belief that emotional intimacy is not safe or achievable.
Moving Toward Healing: A Journey of Self-Discovery
As you begin your healing journey, it’s important to approach yourself with compassion and patience. Healing emotional intimacy struggles is not a linear process. It takes time, and it requires a willingness to face uncomfortable emotions, to confront past wounds, and to take small steps toward vulnerability and connection.
A crucial part of this process is identifying and challenging the beliefs that have kept you stuck in patterns of emotional detachment. This involves examining the ways in which your upbringing, cultural background, and experiences with family have shaped your views on intimacy and emotional connection.
As you work with a therapist, particularly in anxiety therapy Los Angeles, you can begin to uncover the roots of your struggles and create new patterns of emotional connection. Together, we can explore the impact of cultural expectations, societal pressures, and past trauma on your ability to connect with yourself and others. Through this process, you’ll gain insight into how to create the emotional intimacy you’ve always longed for.
Anxiety Therapy Los Angeles — Moving Beyond the Void
The feelings of emptiness you’ve experienced throughout your life are not a reflection of your worth or your ability to form meaningful relationships. Instead, they are a signal that your emotional needs have been overlooked or suppressed. The process of healing involves giving yourself permission to feel and to be vulnerable with others. It’s about recognizing that emotional intimacy is not a luxury — it’s a fundamental human need.
If you’re ready to start your healing journey and tackle the anxiety, emotional detachment, and intergenerational trauma that have shaped your life, therapy can offer you the tools and support you need. As a Latinx therapist who specializes in anxiety therapy Los Angeles, I am here to guide you through this process, offering a safe space for you to explore, heal, and transform your relationship with yourself and others.
If you’re interested in learning more or scheduling a free consultation, please call me at 323-493-6644. Together, we can take the first steps toward creating the emotional intimacy and connection you deserve.
I wish you good vibes in your healing journey!
Ligia Orellana, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Ligia Orellana LMFT 122659 Anxiety Therapist Los Angeles, Ca
